Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm gonna blog that shit

Seriously, DON'T try it - you could ruin it for the rest of us!!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Are we all poor now?

So far, I have not worried myself too much about the whole financial crisis thing. I think the reason behind this is best explained in this blog post by my sister. However, I am beginning to err on the side of alarmed.

See, I live in a bit of a bubble. There is not much that can penetrate this little bubble o' mine. I am so very safe and full of hot chocolatey goodness in here. You know, like with addictive stuff and warmth and sugar - things that are completely satisfying until you realise that a) they make you feel sick, b) they make you hate yourself, and c) they make you grow a fat arse. I'm just very ignorant, very disillusioned and fatally optimistic.

I thought when the cash collapsed that it would just be one of those things that affected people who had heaps of money in shares and maybe some petrol prices would go up for awhile or something. And then suddenly everything would go back to normal and we would all say, "Huh. We thought it was going to be worse than this. Hmm... bored. Let's scrutinise K-Rudd's nose wiping again." But now it looks like this thing is going to stick! There's a fair chance I might have to start paying attention!

I can only compare this feeling to the one I had after 9-11 when it dawned on me that I was living in a time of war. Something I never thought would happen in my lifetime. Wars and depressions were supposed to be things of the past that only happened when the people were stupider and had nothing better to do. I mean, we have the internet now and our overinflated opinions of ourselves and our disillusionment that we all have something to give to the world. I just don't get it. (Okay, I kind of do, but seriously it hurts way more to openly understand than it does to feign ignorance, especially when I'm so good at tricking myself.)

Another of my burying-my-head-in-the-sand kind of ways is to not say scary stuff out loud. If I can wrestle my bad thoughts, overpower them and drag them kicking and screaming to that far away cave in my mind and quickly trap them with a boulder, then they can't harm me. If I say these things out loud, well... they might have substance. The thing is, as much as I don't want to give this frightening thought any credit what-so-ever, I can't help but wonder - Are we all poor now?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Jumping on the Meme bandwagon...

Okay, if all the cool kids are doing it, here goes...

Twenty-five random things about me:

1. I can convince myself that just about anything is more important than the actual important task that I need to do. Write article for work... well, not before the all-important facebook check/stalk. Clean up the kitchen... Hmm, maybe after I've done my nails, eaten another LCM, and gotten through this episode of Three and a Half Men (which I actually HATE with a passion. It is in NO WAY funny).

2. I can't use pieces of paper or pens or even sometimes undies out of order. I just think it is unfair to the one that is at the top of the pile and has been waiting patiently to fulfill its destiny.

3. I get anxiety, especially at night. I will spend a perfectly calm evening in, then turn off the lights for bed and become utterly and irrationally certain there is an intruder in my home and there are mere moments before my maming and killing begins.

4. I am exceptionally accomplished at daydreaming. I will daydream that I am going to win the next Boystown lifestyle lotto, and for those thirty minutes, it's as good as if I really had won, even when I haven't, and have no intention of buying a ticket! This is why I believe I would survive in jail. They could take my freedom, but they'll never take my dreams!

5. Dirty Dancing has been my favourite movie since I was... oh I don't know, about eight. I wanted to marry Patrick Swayze when I was but a wee lass.

6. My son and I laugh about poos and farts all the time.

7. I miss Sarah Palin. She was such an entertaining train wreck. I actually became quite obsessed with her during the US election campaign.

8. When I first started working at Australia Zoo, I liked animals okay, but I really had little to no interest in them. Now I really genuinely love a lot of animals. They fascinate me - their behaviours, their natural defences, their biology - I love learning about them. However, I must admit that I will always love people more.

9. I can have a bit of a potty mouth. Okay, fine, I'm a complete foul mouth, but I have learnt to control it. You know, around my boy and at church and stuff.

10. I do not have any recollection of a time when I was not 100% interested in boys. Some of my first memories include me falling helplessly in love with boys in my class. My most vivid memory of this is from Grade One. His name was David. Can't remember his last name. The next year, it was Simon (again, no last name). And in Grade Three, Shawn O'Laughlin came to our school and that was it for me. He was The One for a good while after that. I had a few other boyfriends, but Shawn was the one I was really interested in, but I never stopped lusting after Shawn. We got together properly when we were fourteen, but I dumped him after a few weeks.

11. I was always, always, always going to be a dance teacher. Everyone knew it. It was just in my stars. I loved dancing and I was a natural teacher. I taught Song and Dance classes for awhile, but I was destined for other things, as it seems.

12. Chiropractic helped cure my stage fright. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. Chiro and steely determination.

13. I have two false teeth. They were knocked out when I was nine.

14. I ignore strange sounds in my car in the hopes that they will just go away. Ignorance truly is bliss.

15. I don't wash my car. I wait for it to rain.

16. When I find a really good book, I will read it over and over and over.

17. I sing in my office all the time. I bet it annoys everyone!

18. I chose my son's name by going through the names of characters in movies, plus ideally I wanted his name to be Hebrew like mine. Jonah is the name of the little boy in Sleepless In Seatle. Other names I considered were Cary (like Cary Grant), Manas, Ashton, Aidan and Jonas. If he had been a girl, his name would have been Cosette Jessica or Charlotte Jessica.

19. I can still do the splits.

20. I currently have six white summer dresses in my wardrobe. I love them all, but I haven't even worn two of them yet.

21. I have become better at sports since having my son. I have had to pick up my ball skills to keep up with him. He's only three.

22. Decision-making, when it's really important, is not my strong point. I always hope something really really good or really really bad will happen to influence my decision, so it's kind of made for me.

23. When people comment that something bad has been done, like someone stole or broke something, I always think, "Oh, I hope they didn't think it was me..." Even when I logically know that noone would think I did anything, because I never steal and I would always own up to breaking something, and people should know this about me!

24. I never go to the doctor, unless I'm super sick. But I usually get there and feel remarkably fine. Then I feel like a faker. And that's why I don't go in the first place! It's one of life's cruelties.

25. I probably should buy a new television. The one I have cost me $300 eight years ago, is too small and makes a decently audible squeal. It's just that there are always dresses and stuff to buy...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A Doughnut Don't

My best little staffer (okay, only staffer), Randy Andy, and I are feeling Krispy Kreme regret.

It all started when Un-princess Jasmine, who works in the office next door, google talked us with the news of the arrival of two boxes of Krispy Kremes. Now, it was not until recently that I had even tasted a Krispy Kreme doughnut. They are not as big in Australia as the US and elsewhere. We have Donut King and Mr. Whippy in most parts, but Krispy Kremes are a little more rare.

Anyway, so Randy Andy and I were out the door in a wink and salivating all over Un-princess Jasmine's desk and the doughnuts. The subsequent five or ten mins were spent speculating over which ones to have... "Ooh, what do you think is inside that one?"
"Should I just have a glazed one? Maybe I should just have a glazed one?" And the like.
In the end, I chose a chocolate covered, custard-filled one.

It wasn't until I had consumed the whole dirty thing that I remembered, there is something in Krispy Kreme doughnuts that makes me feel a bit zippy. Maybe it's just that I haven't had years of tolerance-building to the sugar, or maybe they are laced with speed, I'm not sure. Either way, they give me a definite buzz, and then a definite ache in the tum.

I wondered if this video would explain anything:

Hmm... The glaze waterfall might have something to do with the buzz?

After the excitement of the Krispy Kremes, Randy Andy and I were loathed to return to our own work stations. We discussed that it felt like when you're at school and something happens outside the classroom window, like a tree falls. Everyone is curious, even the teacher, so you all race outside to watch. Then it becomes evident that no more trees are going to fall and all the activity is over. You're already all riled up, but it's all over. Things in the classroom just aren't the same after that for the rest of the day.

At least you get to recount the story at three o'clock when the bell rings and your mum arrives to take you home.

But nobody is picking me up! I have to drive home myself, and by that time the reality of the Krispy Kreme doughnut fiasco will only make me feel compelled to hit the gym. Deep Krispy Kreme regret.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Housework won't kill you, but why take the chance?

Last week I hired a cleaner. Her name is Teri, and I think she is going to be my new best friend. She won't be the kind of best friend that I meet at Mooloolaba on Sunday afternoons for strawberry and watermelon crushes, like Un-princess Jasmine. Nor will she be the kind of bestie, whose house I frequently visit for the cocktails and singstar, like Mrs Cooperville.

She will be the best kind of best friend. The kind who turns up when I'm not there and leaves happiness in the form of housework that I did not have to do myself! I am uber excited about my new friend, Teri. Now I don't have to put out an ad like this:

natalie dee

I will have to pay her, though. Damn.